Another Fridaynight and another chance to win yourself a Totally NSFW shirt. Last week’s winner came out with The shrink wrap I can deal with, but attaching keyrings to my nipples is going a bit far and is called JammyJay. Keep an eye on that mailbox as I’ll be writing to you soon with a request for details. If you want a shirt, start captioning or fucking, videotaping and sending it to us.
"This stench is unbearable, I must breathe through my mouth!”
Or, since they look like rednecks…
“Mammy said she lost her ring in here?”
....and for my final trick of the evening - the classic: “Pulling a rabbit out of a top twat”
Get back in your hole ya varmint!
Where is my fucking phone?
This twats got shergar!!! Hang on I think lord Lucas is in there too right next to Hoffa.
"Hey boys...check out my new holstar for my 45”
Virgin repair service. buy one get one free. complete satisfaction or your money back..
Damn you remind me of your mother…
George Bush Senior demonstrates where the next destination for America’s oil search will be.
Crocodile Dundee’s Senile dementia lead to a rather embarassing incident as he demonstrated his new outback survival technique.
"Where the fuck is my Copenhagen!”
**Hokey Pussy Pokey**
You put your right fist in,
You pull your right fist out,
You put your right fist in
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey Pussy Pokey…
Ummm Sir, that’s not what we mean by a donkey punch....
Tommy had waited patiently for years for his chance as ventriloquist at the Playboy Mansion
Dammit woman when I say dont snatch my keys, I mean dont SNATCH MY KEYS!!!!!
’Smack my bitch up’
I! Know! My! Keys! Are! In! Here! Somewhere!
It’s always—got em!—in the last place you look!
git r dun
"NOOGIE NOOGIE NOOGIE!!”
Falcoooon PUNCH!!!
Time to cowboy up… your ass!
I just love my new Bratz wallet!!!!!!!!!!
Look lady! I told you I ain’t havin’ no more kids. If you won’t go to the clinic, I’m gonna have to take matters into my own hands.
tex was going deep in the village fete lucky dip
The new foodtucker trial on “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” was easy, compared to spiders, rats and snakes.
"Hail to the king, baby.”
"This is my… BOOM STICK!”
"Damn, thought it was a twist-off.”
"When you pull the string, she says eleven different things!”
"Wonder-twin powers, ACTIVATE!”
Edward cuntyhands hated his affliction.
Standard Porn Entrance Exam- Question 3. Are you loose enough?
Got.....to get.....my wallet......out!
No Billy Bob when i said “go and punch that cunt over there” that wasn’t quite what i meant
The Bush Administration increases airport security under the mission statement
“Them terrorists will put bombs anywhere.”
"Ow! Goddamit! That’s my hand you fucking asshole!”
’dammit women , stop using my phone as a freaking vibrator. I’ll get it out myself’
Oh yeah? I’ll show her whats its like to ride a horse all day....
WHERE ARE YOU HIDING MY SHERIFF BADGE WOMAN!?
Clint was getting in some last minute practice for the annual ‘Turkey Stuffing Contest’....
"And the Oscar goes to...”
Redneck handsoap dispenser.
She a spinner boys!!!
Since Tony Blair left the cabinet he had time to revive his flagging sex life with Cherie
deep in the outback, australia:
“that slut stole the corks from my hat and used them as anal beads again”
Take that, you cunt!
"Dressing up in his sisters clothes again to get himself off was one thing. Sticking grandpas ranch style dresing bottle up his arse just before dinner was a whole other matter however, as billy bob quickly found out.”
A redneck’s attempt to split an atom
I’ll find your G-spot if it’s the last thing I do…
"And that’s when we realized the California Gold Rush had gone too far”
"You owe me a rib bitch!”
"I used to do this to cows!”
"Bob’s pussy magnet ring didn’t work as he expected...”
I believe the expression is “pussy whipped”, not “pussy punched”.
Let me show you a quick draw from my new holster. her cunt is either packin’ or it’s getting packed.
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Yeeeehaaaaa cowgirl! Lets have a fist off!